2011 All Star Game Tribute: Kansas City All Star Tribute Howler issue #8

The San Francisco Howler
a publication
covering
EWB and SeaWolves Baseball
7/11/2011

SPECIAL ALL-STAR EDITION

Kansas City Wheat Kings: Proud History, Dark Times, and Bright Future
Proud History
The Kansas City Wheat Kings are one of the few dynasties in Earl Weaver Baseball.  Of course, no team has been as dominant as the Washington Admirals and the Miami Banditos stake the claim as the best team in the modern era of baseball, but there are several other teams that have clawed impressive resumes of their own including the Diplomats, Wolverines, and the Kansas City Wheat Kings.

This is a very elite club to be a part of.  One might ask: what qualifies the Kings (as they are oft referred to by "true" fans)?  The answer: 1978 to 1986.  The Wheat Kings not only appeared in the playoffs all but one of those years, they also managed to appear in three World Series and claim two Championships.  The Kings were first in the Plains Division, which is historically the toughest division in baseball, 7 out of those 9 years.  What is even more impressive is that KC managed to claim their dynasty amidst the greatest team in EWB history, the 1978 Washington Admirals.  To say that the Wheat Kings were passed the torch by the Admirals is a complete fallacy.  The Kings clawed, scraped, and bit to take that torch from the Admirals and that torch ultimately would be passed back and forth for several years until lesser teams picked it up while the Admirals and Kings fought for dominance.

The Wheat Kings also developed a rival with the cross league Black Jacks.  Indianapolis is unfortunate to have had their best years when Washington and Kansas City were at the top of their game. Indianapolis had this misfortune of losing with their best team ever in '75 to the Admirals and then being defeated twice by the Wheat Kings.

While the Wheat Kings would appear in one more World Series, it was already apparent that the "other" Washington had begun a dynasty of its own.  The late '70's and early '80's is often regarded as one of the most competitive eras of EWB, for KC to win 2 World Series in 3 years coming out of one of the most competitive divisions amidst the powerhouse teams of the time is a testament to their status as one of the few dynasty teams of EWB.

 

Dark Times
After the stretch in the late 70's and early 80's, the Kings fell into a sort of abyss of true mediocrity.  While they managed a playoff berth in '92, they would not see another until a wild card berth in 2003.  Even the '92 appearance is more of an aberration than anything else.  And even though KC has been better the last few years, they still have yet to win the Plains Division since that '92 season.  Until, perhaps this year, after an interview with his "Air," we will discuss the reemergence of the Wheat Kings as the dominant Plains division team.  On top of our interview with HOF'er Alex Hendrix, we will later discuss Phillip Bennett and current star Kenny Etchells all three are bright stars of KC's past and future.
Alex "Air" Hendrix Interview by SeaWolves GM Joe Mullin

Legendary Wheat Kings Alex Hendrix can be found on a modest ranch encompassing over 100 acres of prairie land just outside Kansas City, Kansas; west of I-635.  As I pulled up to "Air Ranch," I was greeted by a menagerie of farm animals and an endless sea of green fields.  Stepping out of my boxy rental, I was welcomed by that familiar, heavy midwest heat.  The kind of air that you can cut with a knife.  Taking in the panoramic Robert Wood landscape, I duly noted the "Field of Dreams" just behind Hendrix's house.  The familiar sound of a fastball slamming against a wooden boards strapped to a chain-link backstop preceded the jean and t-shirt wearing, 3 time Bob Gibson winner, Alex Hendrix.

 

AH:  Ya gotta decent team this year.  I could come out of retirement with the right offer.  I can still hit 95 when the humidity is down.

JM:  I'll send my scouts out.  How are you doing Mr. Hendrix?

AH:  I'm just fine, but I'm not pulling your leg.  Seems to me that your club still has room for a solid arm.  Happens I still have one.

JM:  Well, I'll make you a deal: Let's do this interview and then I'll catch for you and we can work out the details of the contract after that.

AH:  Deal.

As we move inside, Hendrix's wife puts a beer in front of both us and a plate of cheese, crackers, and deer sausage (Hendrix lets me know that it was his grandson's first buck).

JM:  What is your fondest memory from your time playing in EWB?

AH: '79.  As a team that was our best year.  I think everything after that was myself and Sexton and Sanchez and all the others trying to recreate that year and convincing those that came later that we needed to recreate that year.

JM:  Do you feel like you were successful in that approach?

AH:  Mostly, but we were shortsighted.  Years like we had in '79 don't come around very often and no matter what anybody says, the first is the best.  I think when I finally realized that might opportunity to compete in KC was over, I kind of rethought the belief  that '79 needed to be recreated.  Perhaps if we approached every year separately from the last then we could have won 4 or 5 World Series.  I definitely felt like we could.

JM: Still you won two. . .

AH: That's true.  I am happy with what we were able to do, but like I said I was always chasing '79.

JM:  Did that prompt the trade to Portland?

AH: You bet.  I figured I would have a better chance out there then here at home, in KC.  I regret asking to be traded.   I wish my whole career would have been solely in KC, but at the same time it made me appreciate home that much more.

JM: Do you consider yourself to have been one of the greatest pitchers of all time?

AH: That seems like a loaded question, so I'll try and put it as humbly as I can.  I'm in the HOF; every year that I was a starting pitcher, I had a winning record; statistically I among the greats in nearly all categories and if I didn't waste so many years as reliever, I might have been the best in a lot of those categories; and to top it off I probably could have pitched at least five more years.  I like baseball and I like to win and it's those two things about me that, yes, probably make me one of the greats.

JM:  How do you like the Wheat Kings shot this year?

AH: Well it will be tough, but they have some really good pitchers and they made some good moves in the offseason.  But whenever you have a player like Kenny Etchells playing for you, you are a contender.  I like their chances just as well as anybody and you know I will be rooting them all the way to the World Series.

JM: Maybe you will be playing the SeaWolves. . .

AH: Wouldn't that be something.

JM:  One last question.

AH: Shoot.

JM:  How many years do you want?

 

Hendrix smiles and we go out back to play catch as negotiated.

While the game moves on and young players come onto the scene, you can still rest assured that none of them can live up to one of the Kings.

 

 

Bright Future; and Phillip Bennett Versus Kenny Etchells by Rush Limbaugh

The Howler is very lucky that I agreed to do this piece. Typically I don't write for left-wing biased fish wraps, but since this issue was based on my team, the sensational Wheat Kings, I decided better to be a part than have some pinhead screw things up.

 

Now The Howler has asked me to talk about the future of the Kings and in particular their performance these last few years.  What needs to be said!  It's obvious that the Wheat Kings have been a juggernaut in the making and they are just beginning their steamrolling of the AL and will then flatten any weaker NL team for at least the next five years, at least!  Oh, I know what some of you are saying to yourselves, "Wait Rush, what about the Renegades, Rush?"  Ha, the Renegades are just another whipping boy of the Admirals who are enjoying a little bit of success while their master is taking a nap.  The Wheat Kings are the preeminent team in all of EWB.  And do you know why?  Kenny Etchells, thats why.  I have Etchells and none of you other monkeys do!

The Howler wanted me to do a comparison of Etchells and Bennett, but why waste time.  Bennet was amazing as rookie, but never lived up to the hype again.  KC was brilliant to let him go to free agency.  It allowed our man Kenny to flourish and take the crown he wears now as the best player in the modern era of EWB.  Bennett on the other hand was signed with a giant contract by the Barons, but not more than four months later, the Barons saw the writing on the wall, got cold feet and traded a declining Bennett to you Sorry Sacks of Shit in San Francisco.  Sure Bennett had a couple decent years, but boy when he went south, he went south fast.  So again, what's the comparison?  Etchells a sure fire HOFer versus Bennett, a player with a short career that can attribute his status to a lucky rookie year.  Since I'm not getting paid for this article, I don't feel that I need expound any further.  Point made.  The Kansas City Wheat Kings and Kenny Etchells are true Americans who will kick the shit out of any other team in the league and will continue to do so for an indefinite amount of years.  GO KINGS!